We all know that the sand in the hour glass of our life is finite and will, at some point run out. Since that is inevitable, we get to choose how we live our lives in the meantime. I have often thought about what people will say at my funeral. My hope is that it will be honest and fair. My commitment is to do what I can while I still have the chance to earn kind words and memories. So this article is about your legacy and how you are affecting that today.
Since the next moment is not guaranteed, what will you do today to define your legacy? Contrary to popular opinion, how you treat yourself is the key. Self-image and self-care sets the tone for how we live our lives. When we are respectful, kind and caring toward ourselves, we can extend that to others.
Every day, you get a chance to leave a positive impact on this world. We are all too aware of the fact that there is hardship all around us and sometimes even in our own lives. Complaining and getting down on life does not solve any of that. We are a people of community. We are a people of spirituality. We are a people of unity. The more we positively impact people around us, the stronger our community gets and the more we get back.
Beware, however, of your intention. If being positive is solely based on what you are looking to get back, life may have other ideas. I grew up watching my mother donate to friends and strangers. I watched her extend herself to people all the time, regardless of whether she had or did not have. One day I asked her why she kept on doing this. She simply and calmly said:”…because I can.” In the absence of seeking reward, we tend to be more open to what we actually receive. More importantly, the reward is in the positive difference we make.
You never know how your choices may impact someone. I recall a late night many years ago while I was at university. I was cramming for an exam and had isolated myself in order to focus. I had forgotten to turn off my ringer and the phone rang. I felt annoyed at myself for not having turned the ringer off and contemplated whether or not to answer the phone. Something told me to pick up. As I was picking up the phone, something told me to put my annoyance in check and put a smile on my face. I said a warm “hello”. On the other end of the line was a person I had not spoken to in many years. We struck up a casual conversation that may have only lasted 3 minutes. I heard the words of my godfather in my heart while I was talking to the person: “Be kind, be caring, be warm.” I listened to his advice and it was a pleasant conversation. A few years later, that person called me back to thank me. I was shocked as I did not understand what the gratitude was for. The person stated that, years prior, when the person called, they were considering committing suicide. For some reason, they called me and the person said that this kindness they heard gave them reason to hang on.
That story is not about me. The focus is on the impact of kindness. Greeting strangers, saying kind words to people just because. We all have the power and the opportunity to have a positive impact on others. The ultimate truth is that altruism is self-serving. The more we invest on our community, the stronger our community is for us.
As you wake up tomorrow, think about how you want to show up for the day. You may have lots of tasks on your plate, people nagging at you, stress and pressure, and yet, you still get to choose how you show up. You can decide to add to the collective misery or be a part of the solution. Just think about how you would want people to treat you and then consider how you impact others. Welcome to your legacy…
Be brave. Be open. Be honest. As always, be kind to yourself and others. If you have any questions or comments, you are always welcome to send them to info@newhistory.ca.
Until next time,
Geoff Ayi-Bonte MA RCC
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Mental Health Clinician, Advocate and Practice Leader
