The Art and Advantage of Compliments
A ritual of exchange exists in both personal and professional spheres that brings people closer, nourishes their spirits and yields inestimable dividends. It is the compliment.
Common to all compliments is that they serve up what people crave most:
o To be accepted
o To be acknowledged
o To be appreciated
What is a compliment?
A remark or act that expresses admiration qualifies as a compliment. It can also be offered as a greeting of respect.
Compliments are active expressions. To compliment (verb) is also to express regard, to show respect, to congratulate or to commend someone. It is generally a very short exchange, yet can have long lasting impact, especially on the people receiving it.
Have you ever felt awkward when getting a compliment? You are not alone. Compliments call on us to have grace, humility and gratitude. Receiving one badly says more about you than the message of the original comment. It may be a lot to ask of people on short notice as compliments tend to come unexpectedly. With so much going for it, why does the compliment, such a short social interaction capable of creating such positive feelings amongst people, cause distress? Being unprepared for this delight might stem from a person’s culture. This might include the family, ethnic, national or workplace culture. This should not, however, deter you from the joy, indeed the art and advantage of compliments. Simply, be prepared.
Tips on How to Receive a Compliment
(And why it’s important to you and your social standing)
o Stay cool (need I add calm and collected?)
Getting nervous or defensive at the attention you are receiving may cause you to be unintentionally rude. Accept your compliment and you’ll emanate class and maintain your dignity.
o Smile widely
The intention of a compliment is to make you feel good. You will confuse your own body as well as the other person if you look uncomfortable, away or at the ground. Enjoy our moment, and make both of you feel great.
For the tongue tied, a smile can even replace the need to say anything!
o Say Thank You
It’s simple and classic to say “Thank you” or “Thank you very much.” It should be natural and easy enough to say that even if you are shy or caught off guard in an ambush of appreciation. Stop at thank you rather than go on to what many people do-deflect the compliment.
Here’s where context and culture play a part. In our contemporary, let’s say Western culture, to deny an appreciation or acknowledgement can show a lack of confidence or self esteem. Why brush off the person with a comment that devalues you or them for taking the time to compliment you? Why attribute your achievement as luck when you have worked hard or something attractive such as your looks, a purchase, your personality etc. as unworthy of attention by others? Enjoy it!!
VIP Your very important point of politeness is to do what my mother always said, “Stand up straight. Don’t slump mentally or physically. Be proud.” Indeed, accept your compliment with confidence and know that by doing so you strengthen your connection to its giver and prove that you believe them!
Feel like returning the favour? Next time we’ll look at how to build and bestow compliments, just in time for some major opportunities for social intercourse!
