By Jay Timms : Many times when I meet with people, when we talk about how they can improve their lives I will hear, “I don’t have the time, money, or the energy to add that” whatever “that” may be. “That” may mean exercise. It may mean having the tough conversations with someone. It may mean eating better. It may mean opening the window and “shaking the stink out of you”. It may even mean finding money to invest in something that will bring you significant returns in the future. Whatever “that” is, we all can fill in the blanks for our own situations.
I find it very interesting that people don’t have the time to do “that”, but if their child needed to go to the hospital, they would take the time off work, loose sleep, or forgo spending time in front of the T.V. or Facebook. People who “don’t have the energy to do that” will somehow be able to work late if the boss has asked them to, or will find the energy to complete a task that “has to be done”. People who “can’t afford that” all of a sudden find the money to pay for a broken transmission, or hitting McDonald’s on the way home from work because they just don’t feel like making dinner for the family tonight.
If one of the things above resonates with you, don’t take offense to it. You are not alone. I find myself saying some of the same things myself. True confession? Take-out is a bit of a problem for me at times.
What am I trying to say here? I guess what I want to convey is that we all have things in our way of being happy and healthy. In the short term these things can look incredibly big and awesome. They can appear insurmountable. how on earth are you going to be able to do “that” when you have all of “this” that needs to be done as well? Well, like I have said in my book “How to Raise a Teenager Without Using Duct Tape”, often the problem is not really the problem. Often the problem is the way that you are looking at the problem. Let me give you an example. Today it is snowing here in Vancouver. People in Vancouver think that 2 inches of snow is enough to keep kids out of school. Really, it isn’t that bad. But people will often get stuck in the snow in their cars. Now, how hard is it to get a car out of a snow bank by pushing it? At first, it is a ton of work. It takes a lot of energy and force and patience. It may seem like there is no way that you can ever get it out of the drift. There is just too much standing in your way. Gunning it won’t get you anywhere. You have to put it in second gear and be patient. Eventually the tires will grab and slowly, the amount of energy and force you need to put into getting the car to move gradually decreases until it takes little to no force at all. The momentum has built up and you are good to go.
It is the same thing with barriers in our lives. Yes it does take time, energy, and money to be able to fulfill what will make us happy, but the energy you need to expend is directly correlated with the amount of time you spend pushing. Always. You just need to start. You can always find more money, more time, and more energy. ALWAYS. You can choose to be in a place where you are going to continue to be stuck and moan and complain about it, or you can go out and work really hard for a while and then sit back and let it coast. The choice is yours. Don’t let “that” be an excuse anymore.
Jay Timms BMT MA CCC
Author, Trainer, Researcher
Empower Training Development & Research