By Diane Dutchin
There is a natural pull to admire and gravitate towards those who project self-confidence in how they show up in life, how they speak, what they do personal and professionally, and how they carry themselves. The opposite is also true for those who lacks confidence in themselves, and it works against you and the message you are hoping to convey. A person who is successful in relationships, business, sports, life, is likely a person who has a level of self-confidence working for them. It is highly unlikely to meet someone who lacks confidence and is successful. Self-confidence is like a reliable partner, friend, parent or family member, like a muscle it is strengthened by use, intricately connected to our belief system, and accessible to everyone. It is there to serve you if you would recognize its importance and value. It is a combination of heart, belief, attitude, thought and life experiences that feeds and nurtures its growth.
Self-confidence or a lack of it starts from childhood and carries into adult life and affects your life. It stems from your belief system about yourself, others, society and your life experience. It guides the shaping of how you feel, think, act, react to others and live your life.
Some areas that can have a positive or negative influence are:
• Your upbringing impact your level of confidence
• Life experiences shapes your confidence
• Parent/role model affects your confidence
• What you believe about yourself shows your confidence
• Your self-worth affects your confidence
• Finally your decisions mirrors your confidence.
Some people are more self-confident that others not because they are more special, had a better upbringing or more gifted. Like you they have had their struggles, faced the critics, ridiculed, bullied, questioned, lived with fear, and various forms of abuse, and had doors closed on their ideas, abilities and dreams. What caused those same individuals to be at their best today? A few things to consider – Their resilience and belief in themselves that they matter provides a stronger internal belief in themselves, a poise more powerful than the external forces that may have temporarily shaken them. The external factors were used instead as fuel to boost their confidence.
Stories are told every day about people both famous and not so famous, privileged and not so privileged who despite the hand dealt to them, are displaying a level of self-confidence that matches the level of success in their lives. There are a number of things you can begin to do to take the level of your self-confidence to another level of success that will benefit your personal and professional life.
Here are a few points to consider:
• Write down your past achievements and celebrate your wins
• Reflect on your accomplishments, be proud and grateful
• Move your body – the physical and physiological benefits of exercising is massive
• Read a book that feeds your soul and spirit
• Laugh/smile daily
• Make it a habit to compliment yourself (we can be our worst enemy)
• Do something that you have always wanted to do, but was afraid to – step into that moment and watch the fear disappear and your self-confidence rise.
• Be honest with yourself and admit when you are wrong
• Make self-improvement/learning a part of your life
• Start focusing more on your strengths and less on your weaknesses
• Stop comparing yourself to others and run your own race
• Awake your expectancy and breathe into it what stimulates positive growth
As you use the suggestions to build your self-confidence you will begin to notice the positive changes in your personal and professional life. Being swayed by external force will minimize and the noticeable improvement coming from you internally will give you the edge to succeed.
Do not put off building your self-confidence! It is time you connect to it, begin to feed and nourish it and watch how it will begin to add a deeper level of richness to your personal and professional life. You will notice a positive shift in how you think about yourself, which will overflow into how you present yourself, how you speak, your steps will be purposeful, steady and your success within and without will materialize.
Diane Dutchin is a certified personal and career coach at www.makethemovecoaching.com Follow Diane on twitter or connect on LinkedIn